So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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