Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I love having hate sex.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
