I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
