I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just tell him i said nine months
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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