I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
handjob tips. give me some.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
