He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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