wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Mom said you looked used
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
