I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
