tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
PANTIES FOUND
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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