Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
