perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
