We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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