Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
