jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
