Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
