I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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