Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
