bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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