it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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