It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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