Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
