i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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