The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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