So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
that is very illegal...i love you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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