Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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