I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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