her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
