I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
