So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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