I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
