the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't turn off my feet"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
