Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
