elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
