I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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