I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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