i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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