I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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