"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
