just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
