I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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