Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
