I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
