No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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