we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
