the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
