Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
