the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
MIDGETS
????
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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