it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
