i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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