and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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